Mice are cute little creatures when they come in the form of Mickey, Minnie, or Mighty, but in reality, they are disgusting germ carrying rodents that occasionally find a way into
your house. Whether you live in an urban, suburban, or rural setting, you will eventually get mice in your abode. And if you get two mice, you will soon have 100, and the only way to stop them is by extermination. Usually, you can rid yourself of mice by setting traps and generally, one or two traps are sufficient to take care of any mouse problem unless my wife sees one.

She was in the kitchen the other night when she espied a furry pest scurrying across the floor. The mouse disappeared down the basement steps but it was clear that war had been declared. I told her it was her fault for not letting me have a pet boa constrictor. You could just put the boa in the kitchen at night and your mouse problem would be gone by morning. She wasn’t listening to me and went to the hardware store to stock up on weapons.

When I was young, I heard the axiom, “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.” I never did this because the mousetrap I used seemed to function well, and quite honestly, I don’t want a beaten path full of strangers showing up at my door. But this sage advice was heard by many others and those people have come up with numerous ways to catch mice. My wife bought them all.

In addition to the traditional spring traps that catch mice and break fingers, she got little mouse houses that the mice enter, expecting a meal, and wind up getting sealed inside. She also returned with glue boards which are very sticky surfaces that mice walk onto and can’t get off. And we got some new and improved snap trap that doesn’t require any mouse touching for disposal. 

She then set her traps in any place a mouse might go. Many were set in the basement and on every step leading to the kitchen. She also placed them all over the kitchen in case the vermin made it up the stairs. Then she turned out the lights and waited. 

The next day she had a mouse in the mouse house trap, but the trap was gone. This is just great and I’m sure we’ll find him just like we find the one egg nobody can find at Easter. It will make itself known.

The next day she caught two that didn’t get away, and two more in the garage on day three. Since then, not a mouse has been sighted and not a trap has been tripped, but the traps remain in place, all over, just in case.

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night in need of a beverage or a quick nibble. Sure you have. And since you know your way to the kitchen, there’s no need for lights. You open the fridge door, pour yourself a glass of juice, close the door, and step back, onto a glue board! You half hop, half hobble back to the bedroom, spilling your juice along the way. The words that followed were not fun words, but then there is no f-u-n in mouse. 

Most of the traps have been removed but the war is not over, and at least I’m eligible for the Purple Foot award.

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