When I watched the Republican Convention last week, I tended to jump around the channels when it got boring. I did the same thing last night so I may have missed one or three of the more boring speakers, but here’s what I took away from Day 1.
The Democratic convention opened with the establishment of the platform. Last year the platform included the “plank” about the right for every individual to reach their God given potential. This year, they removed the words “God given” and it immediately started to rain in Charlotte.
They also removed the plank recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, although that’s the way it’s listed on Wikipedia. If you ask me, dissing God and Wikipedia is not a good way to start a convention.
Looking around the audience, I must say that their goofy hats are way goofier than the hats at the Republican Convention. And the people are bedecked with so many buttons that they could get jobs waiting tables at TGI Friday’s.
In a very weird segment, the late Ted Kennedy was brought out to debate Mitt Romney, and seemed to beat him, but let me just say that if those two were to have another debate today, Romney would win, because Kennedy is still deceased.
Kathleen Sebelius Health & Human Service Secretary who spoke in favor of Obamacare…because she’s the Health & Human Services Secretary so health is kind of what she does.
Rahm Emanuel was the next speaker. He’s the mayor of Chicago where we have teachers about to go on strike and nightly shootings in the streets. As a Chicago resident, I’m so glad he took time out of his busy schedule to give a speech that wasn’t even in prime time.
The one thing all of the speakers seemed to stress was that everything is good. I mean real good. I don’t know what I was thinking when I thought millions of people were out of jobs and the economy was in the dumper. Apparently its all good, so I guess I’m the only one who was better off four years ago.
Deval Patrick is the governor of Massachusetts and succeeded Mitt Romney in the position. Tonight he dumped all over Romney like a pigeon on a statue and yelled when he did it. It seems to me that the man may have some anger issues.
Julien Castro, the mayor of San Antonio, was introduced by his twin brother, Juaquim but they looked alike so we really don’t know which one idid the speech.
He too trashed Mitt Romney because, well, he’s the target. But another one of the main points everybody hit on was the ability to marry whomever you want. This must have been due to the fact that North Carolina recently banned gay marriage. If you live in North Carolina, you can still marry your cousin, just not your gay cousin.
Michelle Obama was the night’s closing speaker and she said that when she first met Barack that his proudest possession was a coffee table he found in the dumpster. Unfortunately, this sounds like the economic plan we’ve been in for 4 years.
But basically she said that Barack is the best president ever, and he has fixed everything and it’s all going to be all right and that she is going to vote for him and we should to because it’s all good…except for the economy, and the unemployment, and the housing crisis.
Tonight the convention is on opposite the opening game of the NFL season between the NY Giants and the Dallas Cowboys. This means I will probably be the only one watching the convention so tune in tomorrow for a recap of the action.