This Virus Has Gone Viral

The coronavirus now known as COVID-19, has come to be a royal pain in the ass, and I mean that in a metaphorical way, although judging from the lines at the stores, some people take literally. This brings me to my first peeve, why in hell are you people hoarding toilet paper? This isn’t even the kind of virus that causes the trots. It makes you cough, which is why I hoarded lozenges.

We are being told to wash our hands at every available opportunity or whenever we touch something. My hands have never been cleaner to the point that I have rubbed away an entire epidermal layer.

We are also told not to touch our faces, but nothing has been said about touching other people’s faces. If you do happen to touch another person’s face, wash your hands immediately afterwards.

In several states, including mine, all of the bars and restaurants are closed for at least two weeks. It’s a time of crisis and they close the bars? Where is the average guy supposed to seek solace? If he goes home, he’s not allowed to get within 6 feet of other humans, which I am fine with.

All sporting events have been curtailed, and theaters have suspended productions. Any place that attracts large crowds is being shut down, which leaves us with the entertainment options of curling or improv.

Instead, I thought I’d just watch TV but every program was either a warning that we were all going to die, or a documentary on how to wash our hands while singing. I watched everything there is on Netflix, even the rom-coms, and now I’m working on watching the 87 DVDs I collected over the years.

As far as being in the crosshairs of this virus attack are concerned, why are seniors deemed to be the most vulnerable? What the hell did we do to deserve this? We made it through swine flu, bird flu, Hong Kong flu, and ebola, but apparently this coronavirus feeds on old people. This is influenza age-discrimination, and somebody should be sued.

The one bright spot in this pandemic is that people 65 and over have been told, begged even, to stay in their homes and not go anywhere. I think I can handle that. Now that the bars are closed, I have nowhere to go anyhow, so this warning pretty much fits my lifestyle. Stay home, mail is delivered, newspaper is delivered, pizza is delivered, liquor is delivered, and anything from Amazon is delivered FREE. I think I’m good.

Let me know when it’s safe to go outside again.

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