Today is the last day of the year and time to make your New Year’s resolutions. 
Resolutions are promises that you make to yourself, and since they are only to yourself, you don’t feel that bad when you break them.
People make resolutions to lose something, do something, learn something, or obtain something but rarely, if ever, follow through with them. This year, my number one resolution is to follow through on my resolutions. That said, I hereby resolve to the following promises
1. Lose Something. I don’t plan on losing weight in the new year because that’s too hard. Instead, I vow that I will lose more hair.
2. Do Something. I vow that the thing I will do in 2016 is to cast my vote for president no matter how disgusting the choices may be.
3. Learn Something. I plan to learn if that prince from Nigeria is really on the up and up this year. If he doesn’t put the money in my account by midnight, I’ll know that something’s up.
4. Obtain Something. I plan on obtaining an advanced degree in the new year. I want to go beyond masters, or a doctorate, and go straight to getting the Nth degree. I’ve heard a lot about it and I can get one online from the University of Phoenix
One more thing. I think we need a new holiday for January 2nd. On the day after Christmas, many countries celebrate Boxing Day. Nobody knows what it means but it’s another day off so what the heck. I think we should designate the day after New Years for the same reason.
I think January 2nd should be called Do-Over Day. This is the time to reassess your 2016 resolutions and drop the ones that are stupid, unrealistic, or were made under the influence of champagne. Everybody needs a do over and this is the perfect day to do it. Let’s make Do-Over Day a reality. Write your congressperson and let me know what they say.
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