I love a good sock. I love to feel my feet wrapped in softness as I walk around the house. 
Some people like to walk barefoot in their homes but I have never felt that comfortable. I go barefoot in the shower and in bed, but if I’m up and about, I want my socks.
My sock of choice is a basic white athletic sock. It fits well, wears well, and even marks for your heel and your toes. No more tube socks (Google it if you were born after 1980) for us, no-siree. Our white socks are fitted now with designated places for the heel and the toe. Civilization has come to the sock.
Since I wear socks around the house every day, I tend to go through them like a Kardashian goes through mascara, so when I run into a sale on socks, I stock up. Recently I came upon just such a sale.
On a visit to Costco, I saw a display of white socks. Not only white socks but NIKE white socks, with a place for my toes, a place for my heel and a silhouette of Michael Jordan on the top of the foot. They were perfect.
I bought a package of socks the size of a hay bale – 100 socks for $25. You can do the math and come to the figure of 25 cents per sock. This is a deal.
When I got home I showed my sock bale to my wife and she immediately said that they needed to be washed before I wore them. Why? They’re not dirty, they’re white, but I guess it’s to get rid of potential sock cooties. When the socks came out of the dryer, they were warm and soft, and I wondered if I could get an entire suit made out of socks.
I pulled the first sock over my foot and Michael Jordan was looking right at me. I pulled on the second sock and was ready to go. This is when the problems started.
I do not know for sure what kind of textile was used to make these socks but it was soft and stretchy. Very comfortable. As I walked around the house I took pleasure in the comfort afforded me by my socks, but after I climbed the stairs to my office, I noticed that the socks were shifting. The part designated for the heel was now on top of my foot, the toe markings were way off, and Michael Jordan was kissing the floor.
I immediately sat down, removed, and adjusted my socks. I continued walking and quickly noticed that the socks had shifted again. I readjusted, walked some more, and took notice of more sock movement. Even though these socks had been adjusted twice, they still got out of alignment. These socks are not behaving in a proper sock-like manner. They are the misbehaving socks.
My wife even washed the first batch in bleach, thinking that might teach them a lesson but these are hardcore misbehavers and not easily tamed. I have given up on them and am looking to re-use them. I’m thinking home-made sock puppets for all will be a big surprise on Christmas morning.
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