It is winter in the northern hemisphere and in most of the country, that means snow. Snow is one of the more curious of the weather phenomena. Snow is touted as the epitome of heterogeneity in that every snowflake is different. At least that’s what we’ve been led to believe. It is also said that no two fingerprints are alike, and from personal experience I can tell you that no two recipes for bread pudding are alike. But snowflakes set the diversity standard.
Snow, unlike rain or fog, can be molded into shapes. The basic shape is the snowball, and from there you learn the snowman and the snow fort. If you lie on your back and flap your arms up and down while opening and closing you legs, you will create a snow angel. And a carpet of newly fallen snow that covers the yard looks like a blank canvas, to which you can sign your name. Drink fluids beforehand.
A lot of winter sports rely on snow. Skiing, sledding, and snowshoeing wouldn’t be the same without snow. They’d be a lot slower. Tobogganing, hockey, and bobsledding need ice, which is just hard snow. When I was a kid, our favorite winter sport was skitching. To skitch, you grab hold of the bumper of a car moving in the snow, and hitch a ride. Great fun until the invention of rock salt.
The tricky part about snow is driving in it. Snow can turn a perfectly good road into a Slip-N-Slide. Since my house is on a curve, I set up a camera to take pictures as cars take the turn too fast and spin around. Just like the photo taken on Space Mountain at Disney World.
The absolute worst thing about snow is that you have to shovel it. Snow can be very heavy and will certainly give you a heart attack. Fearing the “big one”, I purchased a snowblower. This was a good idea at first, but when you try to start it after storing it all summer, you wind up yanking on the rope until you give yourself a heart attack. It’s a lose-lose situation.
When I was a kid, we used to make money by going door to door, shoveling snow for two dollars. Hardly any kids partake in this entrepreneurship today, and if they do, they want twenty bucks, plus medical and dental.
I know that I could avoid the snow by moving someplace like Phoenix, or hell, but I enjoy snow and I urge you to embrace it, grab onto it, and heap it into piles. Then, come over to my house and shovel my drive. Go fast, I’ll give you a picture.
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