The Sport of Gardening.

     I live in Chicago, one of this country’s great sports towns. SInce I have lived here, I have witnessed a Super Bowl (1985); 6 NBA Championships (’91-’93 / ’96-’98); a Stanley Cup (2010); and a World Series (2005). The only Chicago sports team not to have won a championship in my life time, or the life times of anybody under 100, is the Chicago Cubs.

They’re like the Washington Generals. The Generals play the Harlem Globetrotters in every game and always lose, but they are fun to watch. The same holds true for the Cubs. Their fans show up for the spectacle of the event, including but not limited to, beer. After enough beers, you don’t care who wins as long as you got to see one of the Kardashians sing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” in the 7th inning.

It is because of the great sports tradition in this town that I am distraught by the early playoff exits of our top two teams. The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup two years ago but they were beat up and knocked out in the first round.

Playing in the same arena, the Chicago Bulls had the best regular season record in basketball and guaranteed home court advantage throughout the playoffs. Wow, it doesn’t get much better than that. Unfortunately, the Bulls got injured and ran out of players. They lost in the first round to a #8 seed but they did receive the Golden Crutch Award.

My problem is that without any current contenders for the NBA or NHL crowns; and with the lackluster performances of both baseball clubs in town, I am at a loss as to how I should fill the sports hole in my life, and when I use the term sports hole I am not referring to anything.

To replace the ennui I have about sports right now, I have decided to garden. For the first time since I was a kid, I am going to grow vegetables in a garden plot provided by my city. I have a 20’ X 30’ plot on which I can plant anything I want so I am putting in wheat.

I figure 600 square feet of wheat should be enough for a couple loaves of bread and a cake, plus it ought to weird out my fellow farmers. I’m going to plant other vegetables too but I haven’t decided between the black-eyed peas, or the passive resistance peas.

When I went shopping for vegetables to plant I couldn’t help but notice that the word “Heirloom” is a new selling point. Apparently, heirloom vegetables are better than regular vegetables but I don’t know why.

So I looked up the word “heirloom” and discovered that these vegetables are something that is “old, and have been passed down for generations.” Who the heck wants to raise vegetables that are already old and past their “best by” date? Give me the fresh chemically altered, genetically spliced variety any time.

Now I have to make a decision on fertilizer. Do I go organic or use the powerful stuff…shredded political speeches. Stay tuned for the results.

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