With the presidential election less than six months away, it is time to focus on the hot topics, and no topic is hotter than healthcare…although the Secret Service has some pretty hot stories too.
The purpose of healthcare has nothing to do with health. It’s all about being sick. You don’t need healthcare, you need sickcare because when you are healthy you can take care of yourself. If we really hadhealthcare insurance, we would receive benefits for staying healthy. Whenever you do healthy things like exercise, eat fiber, or lose weight, you would get paid a benefit. When you got sick, however, you had to pay for it yourself. This is the best incentive I ever thought of to keep America healthy.
So let’s say that on a typical day, you have oatmeal for breakfast ($); then walk two miles before going to work ($$); and take the stairs instead of the elevator ($$$). At the end of the day, you would have earned $$$$$$ just for staying healthy. If, however, you get drunk after work and have unprotected sex with a stranger, you will be responsible for any and all diseases contracted. The more you think about it, the more my system makes sense. I think I’ll call it DaleCare.
Here’s another aspect of DaleCare, if you have a baby, within a committed relationship, the costs are on us. But, if you are popping out kids like lottery balls, you are going to have to foot the bill yourself…or have the father pay, if you know who it is.
Of course, no elective surgery will be covered. If you go to a plastic surgeon and ask for the “Full Kardashian” you had better have a cargo bag full of cash to pay for it.
Obviously, I don’t have all of the details of DaleCare of worked out yet. but I do know that under the dental coverage, flossing and brushing pay you money while tooth loss from negligence or hockey will find you coughing up your own dough.
You could buy auxiliary insurance plans if you like, to cover things like a ruptured spleen or limb reattachment but basic DaleCare would be a self-funding entity that would be free for all citizens. I tell you, it’s a win-win.
Now, all we have to do is to convince whoever gets elected that this is the way to go. Unfortunately, Ron Paul will probably not win and he’s the only guy who would listen to an idea like this so we will be stuck with whatever the government comes up.
What each of us has to do is to think carefully before we make any decision that could affect our health, so think about exercise, diet, and giving up alcohol. That’s what I’m going to do…think about it. I already have healthcare.
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