Our recent presidential campaign was one of the nastiest things to come along since Honey Boo Boo. The winner of the election was Donald Trump which pleased half of the country and angered the other half. Had Hillary Clinton won, it would have angered half and pleased the other half. The country has not been this divided since the Civil War, or the battle between rice and Stove Top Stuffing.
I can just imagine what Thanksgiving dinner will be like across this great land. It is a time that is normally filled with relatives, liquor, and differing opinions, a recipe for disaster. But this year, those differences are ramped up to the max and I am foreseeing feuds established between families.
The Trump haters are currently protesting in several cities, mainly because they have nothing else to do. They live in their parents’ basements, are mostly unemployed, and do not understand it when things do not go their way. In a culture where everybody gets a medal it’s hard to describe the concept of winners and losers.
Hillary Clinton was very gracious in her concession speech and never mentioned how much it upset her and Bill. She had already purchased her inaugural pant suit, and Bill was looking forward to auditioning new interns. She also sent president-elect Trump a gift. It was a hand-basket with a card that read “Enjoy the trip.”
Donald Trump is our president-elect and we’ll just have to see how it goes. I know he has a lot to deal with right now, but if he is willing to listen, I have a few ideas for him.
Let’s start with The Wall. This is going to be a very expensive project costing an estimated $8.2 billion dollars. Trump says he’s going to make Mexico pay for the wall but Mexico continues to say, “No way, Jose.” So instead of building a wall Mr. Trump, please consider this.
The length of a wall along the entire U.S. – Mexico boarder is 3,201 miles. If two people hold hands and spread their arms to the side, “Red Rover style”, they cover a space of approximately six feet. If a hundred people stretched out, they would cover about 600 feet. Using math I learned in high school, back when they used to teach math, I figure it will take 880 people to span one mile, or 2.8 million people to hold hands along the entire border. This gives us 5.6 million eyes on the border at all times. Now, consider three shifts of 8 hours apiece, we would need 8.4 million people.
The current unemployment rate in the U.S. is 4.9%, which amounts to roughly 8.4 million people. This means we can give a job to everybody in this country who doesn’t have one. No wall needed and full employment in America. I tell you, it’s a win-win. Oh, and did I forget to mention that all of the people on border-watch would be provided with a free leftover “Make America Great Again” cap to wear on the job. Boom! Genius. I have many more ideas, so president-elect Trump, if you’d like to hear them, drop me a line.
Now it’s time to get back to the business of being America, so quit belly-aching, go back to work, and get on with you life.