Monday is Labor Day in America and I don’t think it gets the holiday credit it deserves.
Think about it. How do we celebrate Labor Day? Is there a parade? No. Decorations? No. Fireworks? No. We celebrate Labor Day, a day dedicated to the working man and/or woman in America who works for a living, by rushing to Target to buy stuff made in China.
And mattresses? What’s the deal with mattresses? What makes Labor Day the day to run out and get a new mattress? I can’t think of a reason unless you peed on the old one the night before Labor Day.
The other thing we do on Labor Day is to have a cookout, barbecue, or a backyard whoop-de-do to celebrate that summer is over. This is not a thing to be celebrated.
Labor Day is the end of summer. No more ice cream trucks coming down the street. No more festivals and fairs. No more white belts and white shoes. “Oh, the haberdashery.”
I hate when a holiday dictates fashion. The only arbiter of fashion in America should be Wal-Mart. No doubt you have seen the on-line pictures of Wal-Mart customers. They are dressed in a style designed by Pierre Cartoon. I can’t go into a Wal-Mart because my shirt goes with my pants and both of my shoes match. I am scorned as an outcast, a couture pariah.
I would like to see Labor Day get is a little respect. I think it should be treated just like our other holidays. I think gifts should be exchanged on Labor Day. They could be labor related gifts like work gloves or pruning shears.
The official drink of Labor Day would, of course, be the Screwdriver, served with a side of nuts.
We should institute Labor Day carols to sing during the holiday. Some songs that I would nominate include “Nine To Five” by Dolly Parton, “Sixteen Tons” by Tennessee Ernie Ford, and “Eight Days a Week” by the Beatles as an homage to overtime.
And we should make Labor Day resolutions. This is a list of things we plan to accomplish by Halloween, the not-even-a holiday that gets more attention than Labor Day.
There are so many more things that I could add to my plea, but for now, please write to your congressperson and ask for a little Labor Day respect. It has become the Rodney Dangerfield of holidays and deserves more honor.
So please give Labor Day the respect it deserves, because if we don’t respect it, the president will rename this holiday Denali Day.
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