Hats Off To Hats
Today’s lesson will be on the history of hats. Hats have been with us since the dawn of time when neanderthals roamed the earth attending baseball games. While sitting in the bright sun, Crog, or Ook, I can never get those two guys straight, fashioned a banana leaf on his head to provide shade. Soon the others joined in making hats from banana leaves, animal pelts, and rocks. The last idea never caught on.
Pretty soon everybody was wearing a hat for either protection from the elements or to express their station in life. Kings wore crowns, which are really just fancy hats. Workmen wore hard hats, executives wore fedoras, and even belfry attendants wore hats to keep the bats out of their hair.
Cowboys wore hats to protect them on the range but what I have never understood is why those guys that wear cowboy hats today never take them off. What’s up with that? If the design of the hat is to protect you from rain, and snow, and wind you can surely take it off when you are indoors where there is no weather. What are you hiding under there Tex? You know who else never takes their hats off? The guys who wear turbans, and you don’t want to be confused with them now do you?
Eventually hats evolved to the point that each design has a purpose. Fedoras and Derbies are worn to exude a sense of style and élan. Top hats are worn to indicate that the event you are at is very expensive. Straw hats are worn in the sun while hats made of fur are worn in the winter. There is a hat for your every mood and situation.
So if you are going to a ball game, a picnic, or a night on the town, wear a hat for the same reason millions of men al over the world wear their hats; to hide the bald spot.
Dale Irvin
The Professional Summarizer
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