I am fed up and have had it up to here (I am currently holding my hand at eye level) with shapeimage_1-3our government. It seems like all they want to do is control our lives down to the second, or in the most recent case, down to 3600 seconds.

Two days ago we re-entered the government mandated ritual of Daylight Savings Time. For the last 95 years we have been springing forward and falling back because the government tells us to. Well, pardon me Mr. Government but have you ever considered the needs of the citizens?

DST was originally developed in 1918 when Congress wanted to come up with a way to remind people to change the batteries in their smoke detectors. They changed the time to help the farmers and since 95% of the population at the time were farmers, they passed the bill. The problem is that nobody ever asked the farmers.

Even though we are no longer an agrarian society, we still implement Daylight Savings Time. It may or may not help the farmers but it is a pain in the butt cheeks for the rest of us. Every spring we are required to adjust our time pieces ahead one hour. We must do this on the designated day at precisely 2 AM or risk arrest by the chronology police. In the fall, we repeat the rite but this time we adjust our clocks back by one hour. The problem is that this process of saving “time” actually costs us time.

For starters, it takes a lot of time to reset all of the clocks in your house, especially the new electronic ones because before you can reset it you have to look for the manual to find out how to do it. I prefer the clocks where you turn a little knob on the back to change the time but I have some clocks in my house that require an engineering degree.

After you have reset al of your clocks, you have to deal with the loss of an hour. Because this loss happens at 2 AM, you are also losing an hour of sleep. You will wake up in the morning groggy and out of sorts. It may take you a day to recover or it may take you a week, but it’s going to take some time before you can go to sleep at your normal bed time and wake up refreshed in the morning. Then there’s the adjustment on bodily functions.

As you age, your body becomes used to a routine. It knows when to eat, when to sleep, and when to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. It knows ALL of your bodily functions. So, if you are used to occupying the water closet at 7 AM, your body won’t be ready for another hour, but by them you will be on your way to work and have to stop along the way or hold it until you reach your destination. Either choice is a disruption of your routine.

All of this adjusting has caused me to suffer from stress and anxiety and I have decided to sue the government for retribution. I am using the income I paid taxes on last year and divided it by 2,000 work hours per year. The resulting figure is what I am suing for plus shipping and handling and pain and suffering. Let me know if you’d like to join me.

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