Now that the new year is here, the time has come to honor those resolutions you made in a drunken stupor on New Years Eve. Some people make resolutions to stop smoking but then it’s always a question of when, exactly, do you quit.
Do you quit as soon as the clock strikes midnight? What about the next morning? You’ll quit after the holidays are over. The problem is that the holidays are never over. You can find a reason to celebrate every day if you want to smoke bad enough. Today, for instance, is Iron Lung Candidate Day, so light up and look it up on the internet.
For many people, joining a health club in the new year is a big resolution. For others, actually going to the club is their resolution, but in the end, nobody goes anywhere and more resolutions bite the dust. But now you can make your resolution and keep it too with Dale’s Cyber Health Club.
Dale’s Cyber Health Club has many advantages over normal health clubs. First and foremost is the fact that you don’t have to go anywhere. We are a cyber-club which means we’re only on the computer so you can “go to the health club” anyplace that has internet access, even while lying on the couch.
The beauty of D.C.H.C. is that you don’t have to go if you don’t want to; just like you don’t go to the real health club, but since we have no actual location, you can not show up to the club from the comfort of your living room.
As far as our exercise classes are concerned – there aren’t any. No classes, no spinning, no aerobics, and no reason to feel guilty for not attending any of them. If you want to run in place or lift weights, go ahead, we won’t stop you, but we won’t force you either.
Before the new year comes, join Dale’s Cyber Health Club. Our fees are very reasonable and include your cyber locker, plenty of cyber towels, and all of the cyber soap you care to suds with. It’s all ersatz and it’s all at your fingertips so sign up today. It’s a small price to pay to secure my future.