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I love spring. It’s the perfect time of year in the midwest because the snow is gone and the
mosquitoes haven’t arrived yet. It’s a good time of year to take care of things around the house that need to be done, and that’s what I was doing.
Things needed to be cleaned that required me to use a ladder. The details are not important but let’s just say that it was a poor decision. I was on the third rung of a step ladder, a couple of feet from the very, very, hard floor. In an over-reaching moment, I tried to over-reach something, I lost my balance and went tumbling. I fell from the ladder, to the wall, to the floor, when the things on the wall fell on top of me.
I hit my head hard enough to the point where I said “holy fudgesicles” or words to that effect and crawled to a chair. Fortunately my wife was in close enough proximity to hear me wailing like a dingo and come to my aid. At this point I should point out that no alcohol was involved with this incident, which just proves that you should never attempt home repairs while sober.
I have often heard that the biggest health problem for senior citizens is falling, and now that, according to the federal government, I am a senior citizen, I tend to believe them. When I was in my 20’s I fell a lot, usually when leaving a bar. But I never hurt myself. No matter if I fell, bumped into something, or ran headlong into a mail box, I never got hurt. Now I’ve discovered is that all of that “potential hurt” stored up in my body to be used at a later date, and that date has come.
My head continued to throb while my knee swelled to the size of a 16” softball and hurt more than my head, so we went to the emergency room. What a fun place. You can start a conversation with a total stranger by saying, “So what are you in for?”, just like they do in prison.
They x-rayed my knee and said that nothing was broken and I said, “What about my head?” The doctor said they x-rayed that too and found nothing. (rim shot) He also said that I should plan on my knee “hurting like hell” for a few days. I’ll be darned if he wasn’t right. It hurt to the point that I couldn’t walk on it so I resorted to my very first walker. Welcome to the golden years Dale. Already I am starting to get hungry at 4PM, and at 2AM, 4AM, and 6:15AM I pee. Now, the walker. Next stop, mall walking.
I am now convalescing at home, which is very handy because it’s where I live. As per doctor’s orders, I am staying off my feet, with my a pillow under my knee. I am also throughly enjoying the pain medication. Thank you, Medicare.
Tim, Teri, and Dale explore a wide variety of stories that we know you didn’t hear about anywhere else. Give us 15 minutes and we’ll bring you up to date.
Tim, Teri, and Dale explore some really odd stories this week including a study that shows eating boogers to be good for your health; a guy with a eel up his butt; an insulting parrot; and a dude who wants to be an elf in the worst way.
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This week, Tim, Teri, and Dale discuss what happens when you cremate the obese; It takes a threesome to raise a child; sex for McNuggets; and a whole lot more. Give us a listen and you’ll learn a little and laugh a lot.
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