I love spring. It’s the perfect time of year in the midwest because the snow is gone and the
mosquitoes haven’t arrived yet. It’s a good time of year to take care of things around the house that need to be done, and that’s what I was doing.
Things needed to be cleaned that required me to use a ladder. The details are not important but let’s just say that it was a poor decision. I was on the third rung of a step ladder, a couple of feet from the very, very, hard floor. In an over-reaching moment, I tried to over-reach something, I lost my balance and went tumbling. I fell from the ladder, to the wall, to the floor, when the things on the wall fell on top of me.
I hit my head hard enough to the point where I said “holy fudgesicles” or words to that effect and crawled to a chair. Fortunately my wife was in close enough proximity to hear me wailing like a dingo and come to my aid. At this point I should point out that no alcohol was involved with this incident, which just proves that you should never attempt home repairs while sober.
I have often heard that the biggest health problem for senior citizens is falling, and now that, according to the federal government, I am a senior citizen, I tend to believe them. When I was in my 20’s I fell a lot, usually when leaving a bar. But I never hurt myself. No matter if I fell, bumped into something, or ran headlong into a mail box, I never got hurt. Now I’ve discovered is that all of that “potential hurt” stored up in my body to be used at a later date, and that date has come.
My head continued to throb while my knee swelled to the size of a 16” softball and hurt more than my head, so we went to the emergency room. What a fun place. You can start a conversation with a total stranger by saying, “So what are you in for?”, just like they do in prison.
They x-rayed my knee and said that nothing was broken and I said, “What about my head?” The doctor said they x-rayed that too and found nothing. (rim shot) He also said that I should plan on my knee “hurting like hell” for a few days. I’ll be darned if he wasn’t right. It hurt to the point that I couldn’t walk on it so I resorted to my very first walker. Welcome to the golden years Dale. Already I am starting to get hungry at 4PM, and at 2AM, 4AM, and 6:15AM I pee. Now, the walker. Next stop, mall walking.
I am now convalescing at home, which is very handy because it’s where I live. As per doctor’s orders, I am staying off my feet, with my a pillow under my knee. I am also throughly enjoying the pain medication. Thank you, Medicare.