As a professional speaker, I travel a lot, most of the time on very crowded planes. I haven’t had a flight with an empty seat next to me since I wore the surgical mask and coughed a lot. That was a good flight.
The newest gesture by the airlines to make our travel experience more special is to charge for the bags we want to check. What used to be lost for free, now costs you $25 per bag, and still gets lost. That’s why I like Southwest Airlines. There’s no charge for your checked baggage and it’s open seating which makes it easier to pull off the surgical mask scam.
To avoid this additional checked baggage fee, passengers are resorting to carry-on luggage, which is supposed to fit in the overhead compartment, and this is where the problem arises. In lieu of traditional roll-aboard luggage, many people are opting for backpacks.
The backpacks used by today’s travelers are the same size as the ones used by Sherpa guides trekking up Mt. Everest. They are big enough to contain all of the traveler’s clothes, shoes, accessories, and electronic devices as well as a neck pillow and their lunch. It’s a sizable bag, sort of like folding Tom Cruise in half and strapping him on your back.
I accept the fact that the backpacks somehow fit in the overhead compartments and therefore qualify as carry on luggage, but what I object to is the behavior of the backpack wearers. They traverse the airport concourse lugging their packs behind them.
What happens, however, is that the backpack wearer completely forgets that their body is now 2 feet thicker than it was before they donned their pack. This means that every time they turn around, they need two feet of clearance behind them to avoid smacking anybody. Unfortunately, not everybody has the same concept of two feet and a lot of innocent bystanders get smacked. And this is just in the concourse.
Once they enter the narrow aisle of the airplane, the backpack wearers (heretofore referred to as a BPW) become even more dangerous. While a person with a roll-aboard can simply lift his or her case and place it in the overhead compartment, the BPW has to disengage from his travel module which involves swinging it around and smacking those of us seated in the aisle seat. And, when it’s time to get off the plane, the whole ugly scenario plays in reverse with additional smacking.
Another thing I don’t understand about back packs is why? BPWs will tell you that it keeps their hands free so that they can text while walking through the concourse, thus making them even more dangerous. Also, it has to be taxing on your back. Just imagine carrying Tom Cruise on your back. I think roll-aboards make much more sense because they have wheels. That’s where the “roll” part of the word comes from.
I haven’t worn a backpack since Boy Scouts and I wasn’t fond of it then. Some may consider the backpack fashionable in the same way they consider Birkenstocks to be fashionable but I think the only people who can fashionably carry backpacks on an airplane are military personnel. Also, wearing a backpack to the office is not a good look, unless you are leaving at 5 o’clock to go camping.
So I urge BPWs around the globe to please put down their packs. They are dangerous, heavy to carry, and they make you look like you’re a really old college student still living in his parents’ basement.
I will be sending a copy of this essay to the National Suitcase Association to use to further promote the use of suitcases. I even wrote a new motto for them, “Get A Grip.”
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