The political convention season drew to a close last night with the end of the Democratic convention. I, for one, am sorry to see the conventions go because they were just so darn entertaining. Here’s what I gleaned from last nights stirring conclusion.
For starters, the program was moved from the 73,000 seat Carolina Panthers due to poor weather. At this writing it is “partly cloudy” in Charlotte so I can understand their concern.
Now, however, they have no balloons to drop from the ceiling tonights so all of the delegates were given beach balls to blow up and bat around like a Jimmy Buffet concert.
The first speaker I paid any attention to was Eva Longoria, who spoke like a very desperate housewife. She informed us that we should all buy the rights to a website of our name…just in case we decide to run for president some day.
Brian Schweitzer, governor from Montana, said that Mitt Romney’s dog don’t hunt. I don’t know what that means but your dog wouldn’t hunt either if you put him in a carrier on top of the car.
John Kerry was the next speaker and he hasn’t been in the spotlight since his run for president in 2004, but he hasn’t lost any of his stiffness. He did, however get the audience riled up by yelling at them and telling them that he taped lottery tickets under their chairs.
Joe Biden was the warm up act for Obama tonight and he was introduced by his wife, who introduced the Joe Biden movie.
He started by really playing up to his wife like a guy who was looking for a little convention action. Then he sucked up to Barack Obama like he could get fired at any time.
According to Joe, Barack Obama personally saved the auto industry, shot Osama Bin Laden, and is one of The Avengers.
Then Joe got all minister-like when he started yelling at the crowd to take up their plowshares and rise above the fray or whatever he said but at least he left out any references to being back in chains.
The main event of the night was President Obama who was also introduced by his wife. When he came out the crowd went nuts, because they knew the night was almost over and they could get to the bars.
He said that when we go to the ballot box we will have a very clear choice, his choice, or the road to hell and damnation.
He said that everybody has to play by the same rules. This is great to know because I guess now we can all get in on that congressional healthcare plan now.
Then he made everything sound rosy again and apparently we are not only better off than we were four years ago but our cars are going to go twice as far on a gallon of gas. This is because government projects will make all roads go down hill.
But if he gets four more years, he made it sound like every wish we have will come true. All of our problems will be solved and the country will be wonderful again. Now it’s going to take more money, so nobody should complain when China decides to cash in their chips in a few years and take ownership of California.
In conclusion he ramped up the rhetoric and got the crowd so excited that at the end there was not a dry seat in the house.
The conventions are over and we are two months away from the election. Let the games begin.
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