A VIEW FROM MY WINDOW

I love looking out the window. In fact, I have been known to spend hours starring out my window, but those college years are long gone. Now I stare out the window of my 26th floor condominium in the heart of downtown Chicago. From my portal I have views of Lake Michigan, The Hancock Building, and Water Tower Place. If I go onto my balcony and lean over a little bit I can espy Navy Pier in one direction and Nordstroms in the other. Sort of the Yin and Yang in the competition for the consumer dollar.

Today, as I look out the window I know in advance that I am going to see something special. Usually when I see something special out of my window it is quite by accident like the time I saw the lady in the next building doing her housework topless. This, by the way, is an excellent idea for ladies everywhere. If you want your husband to help out with the house cleaning, just take off your top, give him a mop, and say, “Follow me.” He will blindly follow you to the kitchen where you can get him to start cleaning. But, alas, I veered off track.

The track I wish to return to is the one that will give me a clear shot of what I know will be an exciting view. Today is the day of the annual Chicago Air & Water show, and extravaganza held at the lakefront and featuring every kind of aircraft, stunt flying, and loop-de-loops. The climax of the show is the U.S. Navy Blue Angels who fly these Top Gun jets at amazing speeds just inches apart from each other. I’ve seen it many times and it always amazes me.

Another thing that amazes me is that if these pilots and these planes can do such amazing things, why can’t United put my luggage on the same flight I’m on? But I digress.

The Air & Water Show (90% air – 10% water), as wonderful as it is, only lasts for two days. The other 363 days I look out my window and see people living life. For instance, right now I a looking at a woman in a nearby building who is partially hanging out of her open window. She’s not looking to jump or anything like that, she’s just smoking a cigarette. Her left arm is holding the cigarette as far out of the window as a left arm permits. When she wants a puff, she moves the rest of her torso to meet the extended arm so as to ensure that no smoke enters the apartment. A cup of coffee occupies her right hand so she spent several minutes ducking in and out of the window alternating between tokes and tastes. As I watch this urban theater I must ask the question, what’s her deal? Does she live in a smoke-free unit? Does she like to smoke but hate the smell of it on her drapes? Did she just find out that the apartment she’s in belongs to some guy she picked up last night and he doesn’t allow smoking? What a puzzler.

As I peer down at the street, I notice that the double decker tour busses are packed with tourists, and God bless ‘em for stopping by and spending their money. On behalf of all Chicagoans, let me just say, “Please spend more!” Really, we need your contributions. The economy is so bad here that last week the mafia had to off three judges. (rim shot).

But I can worry about the economy another time. Right now, it’s time to look out the window.

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